We have a Buffalo LinkTheater — a box that plays downloaded stuff from our laptops or from a hard drive. I personally think they gave the Buffalo a good name: it’s slow, ponderous, stubborn, and cranky. It never has gotten the remote computer stuff right (which is why we bought it its very own hard drive), and it chokes on half of the formats it’s supposed to play. We use it all the time, though — especially since our DVD player went hinky — but it does occasionally drive me nuts. So my silly brain started singing this the other day while waiting for it to boot . . . (blame the spellings in the second stanza on Bugs Bunny!)
Oh, give me a home
Where the Buffalo works
And all of our downloads will play
Where seldom is hoid
A four-letter woid
And the hard drive will read fast all day.
Home, Home on the Street
Where the Media Wall is complete
Where the Internet works
And we get all the perks
Of the Social ‘Net right in our seats!
And, to make up for that piece of tripe, a more “normal” joke that ran around one of my mailing lists:
A young man named John received a parrot as an early Christmas gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back.
John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and shoved him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said ‘I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.’
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued….
‘May I inquire as to what the turkey did?’