More Friday Funnies from

Happy Halloween! I hope that you’re enjoying the holiday, with whatever meaning it has for you. I thought a couple of giggles might come in handy (non-holiday related):


Antiques enthusiast Mary spent all her free time haunting second-hand stores, flea markets, and other likely spots where she might encounter the odd find: a valuable antique of some sort, whose seller was unaware of its value and was offering it for a low price.

On most of her expeditions she came up empty, but she enjoyed the thrill of the hunt and felt amply rewarded when she did manage to purchase a valuable old something-or-other from its unwitting seller.

On one such expedition, buried in the back of a thrift shop, Mary encountered a small, old-fashioned kerosene lighting device. Her heart leapt at the sight of it; she was sure it was worth considerably more than the dollar on the price tag.

Unfortunately, though, her newest find was infested with small albino insects that had jumped from the store’s feline. She bought it all the same, though.

Now Mary had a little lamp. Its fleas were white as snow.


A little old lady was selling sea shells on a street corner across from the beach one day.

A well-dressed man passed by her. She grabbed his arm and asked, “How about some nice seashells?”

“No, thank you,” the man replied.

Suddenly, the woman clutched her throat and fell to the pavement. “What’s wrong?” asked the man.

“I think this might be it for me,” the old woman whispered. “Please buy some of my seashells.”

Deeply touched, the man bought all her shells. He handed her the money. A moment later, she lay down on the sidewalk and her eyes slid peacefully shut.

The next day the man was walking down the same street and once again saw the woman vending her sea shells.

He walked up to a police officer. “I thought she passed away yesterday,” the man said. “I was here. I bought all her shells just before it happened!”

The officer smiled knowingly. “Ah, you were conned, my friend,” he replied. “You see, she sells seashells by the seizure.”

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