Flotsam & Jetsam

Flotsam, in case you don’t already know, is crud floating on the water, usually from shipwreck; jetsam is stuff thrown overboard to lighten a ship. “Flotsam and Jetsam,” besides being a great chapter in The Two Towers, is a phrase usually used to refer to minutia and trivia; the little stuff floating around that never quite settles into one category. I have a lot of that kind of stuff floating through my world; in fact, I kinda collect it, or I have in the past. And wouldn’t it be nifty if I had a place to put it?

Case in point: I’ve been subscribed to Jennifer Stewart’s weekly writing newsletter, The Write Way. (Find and subscribe to the Yahoo Group Writing Tips.) Interspersed with the tips on fiction writing and the English language, Jennifer puts some of the best jokes I see all week. Let’s peruse this week’s newsletter for the jokes, shall we?

And some scientific facts you may not know about cats …
*Magnetism: All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric and the cost of the garment.
*Thermodynamics: Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
*Stretching: A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

And here’s a question to test your knowledge of cats and grammar!
Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

And one that tests your knowledge of Australiana as well …
Q: What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
A: A duck-filled fatty puss.

Word of the week: Kitten - a small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness; not recommended for beginners; get at least two ( http://www.flippyscatpage.com/catdefinitions.html )

See what I mean? And this was a light week! Seriously, if you are looking for writing help, you couldn’t do better than to go check out write101.com. And keep an eye out for more funny stuff and good words! 8-)

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