LJF Wolffe, Weirdo at Large

(Found in a gift shop in Juneau, Alaska; it was so good that we bought the plastic sign because we’d never remember it otherwise!)
The Beer Prayer
Our lager, which art in barrels,
hallowed by thy fame.
Thy will be drunk, i will be drunk,
at home, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our foamy head,
and forgive us [...]

Here are two more funny stories from www.write101.com:
NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space.
As the moment came [...]

Here’s another classic goodie from www.write101.com’s newsletter:
I halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plane lee marques four my revue
Miss steaks aye ken knot sea
Eye ran this poem threw it
Your sure reel glad two no
It’s vary polished in it’s weigh
My chequer tolled me sew
A chequer is a bless sing
It [...]

A very cool idea, created by a less-than-thorough translation of a sign. (from CRAZY ENGLISH on Reason Pad)

addthis_url = ‘http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ljfwolffe.com%2Fflotsamjetsam%2Faccidental-transcendentalism’;
addthis_title = ‘Accidental+Transcendentalism’;
addthis_pub = ”;

Technorati Tags: Good Words, motivation

Another wonderful piece from the Writing Tips newsletter published by write101.com:
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa [...]

At the family gathering for Christmas, my sister-in-law showed up with “veggie pizza.” It’s tough to describe, but it’s delicious, and so much cooler than trying to wander around with a plate of veggie bits and dabs of ranch dressing. I asked her for the recipe, and this is what she sent:
Veggie Pizza

2 pkg cresent [...]

We have a Buffalo LinkTheater — a box that plays downloaded stuff from our laptops or from a hard drive. I personally think they gave the Buffalo a good name: it’s slow, ponderous, stubborn, and cranky. It never has gotten the remote computer stuff right (which is why we bought it its very own hard [...]

Don’t Quit (Poem)
Source Unknown
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit -
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its [...]

Happy Halloween! I hope that you’re enjoying the holiday, with whatever meaning it has for you. I thought a couple of giggles might come in handy (non-holiday related):
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Antiques enthusiast Mary spent all her free time haunting second-hand stores, flea markets, and other likely spots where she might encounter the odd find: a valuable [...]

I have no idea where this comes from. I found it on an internet marketing forum, and a search revealed nearly two million instances of the phrase “revocation of your independence, effective immediately.” If you know where this originated, I’d love to hear it, so I can attribute it properly. Till then, read and enjoy!
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